Textbook반말을 사용해도 됩니까?ban-mal-eul sa-yong-hae-do doep-ni-kka?May I use casual speech?
Real말 놓을까요? / 편하게 말해도 돼요?mal noh-eul-kka-yo? / pyeon-ha-ge mal-hae-do dwae-yo?Shall we speak casually? / Can I talk comfortably?🏷️ Any casual setting
말 놓다 (literally: to release speech) means dropping honorifics. This phrase is the OFFICIAL signal to switch from 존댓말 to 반말. It's usually initiated by the older person, or mutually agreed when you discover you're the same age.
Common switching scenarios
동갑 발견 → 우리 말 놓자!Discover you're the same age → Let's drop honorifics!
선배가 먼저 → 편하게 해~Senior says first → Talk comfortably~
술자리에서 → 형/누나라고 불러At a drinking party → Call me 형/누나 (= let's be close)
온라인에서 → 반말이 기본Online → casual speech is default (age unknown)
직장 상사 → 절대 반말 금지Work supervisor → NEVER casual (even if they're younger)
At Korean companies, your boss might be younger than you. Doesn't matter — position outranks age at work. 직급 (job rank) beats 나이 (age) in professional settings. This is one of the few exceptions to the age rule.
Phrases you'll hear when switching
If someone older says 말 놓자 but you're not comfortable, it's OK to say 아직 존댓말 할게요 (I'll keep using polite speech for now). It's respected as showing extra politeness. But if a Korean your age says it, declining might feel cold — they're trying to be friends.
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